Characters Of The Day: @fingersnap
“It’s taken me years to ‘get’ Twitter. My promotional tweeting is largely going over like tumbleweed.
@guydaviesmusic tells me @CorrinaGreyson’s had a great photo taken for a collection being assembled by @chrisfloyduk called 140 Characters.
We go to @chrisfloyduk’s studio, A very likeable man. It is a very hot day. We pose barefoot.
Shortly, hereafter, I decide to have one final go at getting Twitter ‘right,’ and follow my friend @davidgarnold’s example: I tweet whatever.
@chrisfloyduk tweets me and tells me I’m on fire. I notice I am being retweeted regularly. My numbers rise.
@peterpaphides trumpets that @GeorgeMichael has joined twitter. I follow immediately.
I wake at 7am one Saturday, in time for a 7am tweet by the great man.
I tweet ‘blimey! You’re up early love!’ He replies “I often am. How are you?’ My numbers surge by about 300.
My new @GeorgeMichael followers include ‘This Morning’s’ Soap correspondent @Sharontweet
My Twitter confidence is ablaze, though I notice that my self-confidence generates rambling Byronic tweets of up to 16 in one go.
I begin taking long walks and bike rides, tweeting all that I see. I’m praised by the Streatham press. I decide to learn trees.
I begin pathological #ffing
This means that my numbers haemorrhage as quickly as they rise. I sign up to Who Unfollowed Me?
One afternoon I log in to find that @caitlinmoran has unfollowed me. I panic.
I check quickly to see if her husband still is. He is. Oh not so bad then.
El Boyfo says she’s probably just fed up with logging on and finding a wall of my tweets.
I begin a jocose flirtation with a motorbike enthusiast from Cheshire @zootcadillac, because he seems charming and has a shaven head.
And I’ve noticed my Twitter mate and fan @iainmarley is too. We joke about our twitter three-way.
@Markgatiss tweets, quite to my surprise, that he loves me. He means my music, of course.
Violinist @Eoschater tweets me, that they’ve mentioned me on the set of Sherlock Holmes, while she is coaching his violin playing.
On my way to @VoewoodFestival with @guydaviesmusic and @manofsherwood I hear of an almighty Twitter spat!
It is between my jocose Twitter flirtation @zootcadillac and my absolute favourite tweeter @themanwhofell
I immediately assume responsibility because of my pathological #ffs
I start making moon faces of tweeters and make one for @themanwhofell by way of covert apology. He doesn’t respond.
I feel stalky. I think all is lost. I decide to leave Twitter. I write a last ditch missive to @themanwhofell on Facebook.
He tells me not to be silly, that he has been busy and offers to edit some of my writing.
This throws me, as he once complimented me by saying that I tweeted the way @stephenfry should.
I don’t follow @stephenfry, @wossy, @rustyrockets or any of the UK biggies, so I wouldn’t know.
I would love it if @AlecBaldwin responded to my tweet. He responds to so many, but I haven’t captured his imagination yet.
@Brianenoreal is following me;
@Brianenoreal was following me.
@Tim_Burgess and I become twitter friends.
He tweets I lost my butler during an economic downturn, posting a clip of McAlmont and Butler on ‘Later.’ My followers surge by over 50.”
“Corrina Greyson had uploaded her 140 Characters shot straight onto her Facebook fan page. Once I saw them I was instantly enraged with jealousy. Other 140 shots started to emerge of her, Steve Furst and Eos Chater. The green monster had the better of me; why where they having such a good time FFS?
I called Corrina up and demanded to know who took these shots, as I wanted David McAlmont and I (who had just got back working together) to be in on it. She told me it was Chris Floyd who was doing this “Twitter project.” She gave me his number and I called him up straight away, using my pushy Scouse persona to get in on the project.
We shot these without any shoes on – I’ve completely forgotten why that was now.”