Character Of The Day: @markborkowski
“When I was younger, I regarded ‘The Cosmic Trigger I: The Final Secret of the Illuminati’ as my bible. Written by an early client of mine, Robert Anton Wilson, it has a foreword by Timothy Leary, whose eight circuit model of consciousness and neurosomatic linguistic engineering is another guiding principle for me.
Whenever I opened the book, something odd and magical usually happened. I called the process ‘Wilson’s Manic Happenstance’, or I did, until I lost the book when I was mugged on a stag night in Bovey Tracey.
I live life as if every single moment is a coincidence. So, when on a cold wet morning a Twitter friend suggested that I head on down to Chris’s West London studio to take part in his Twitter photographic project, it simultaneously coincided with the cancellation of an 11 o clock meet.
Free to venture West, I tweeted Chris and arranged to turn up to be snapped. When you start looking for something you tend to find it- so said the late great Mao Tse-tung.
I was a little early and found myself standing in line with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Amazingly Hugh was reading my old dog eared copy of The Cosmic Trigger, dressed in a suit identical to the one I was wearing. The ice was broken. We quickly discovered that we were twins separated at birth. Adopted by different families, we grew up not even knowing of the other, yet we both sought law-enforcement training, we both had abilities in mechanical drawing, carpentry, cookery and public relations.
We both married women named Kate. We had sons of the same age. I named mine Janek Joshua and Hugh named his Joshua Janek. We both owned dogs which we named after an XFactor winner, @stevebrookstein.
After the shoot we headed off to catch up on old times and discuss Aubrey F Burstall, The Wire, Max Clifford, Jesus, Abyssinian Cabbage and @gracedent’s amazing book ‘How To Leave Twitter’.
After an incident in the loos, I discovered that tattooed on his right buttock, as on mine, is the wisdom of the great #PR stuntster Jim Moran: ‘There is nothing more dismal than a fact.’
Perhaps all this coincidence is the reason for my confusion, so I wonder if you can help me out. Take a close look at the exhibition still: is it Hugh or me? Chris isn’t telling.”