One Hundred & Forty Characters

All about the One Forty and the big show in November

Character Of The Day: @HumphreysHere, @MrNickHarvey, @Martin_Carr

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(L to R) @HumphreysHere, @MrNickHarvey, @Martin_Carr

@Martin_Carr

“I love Twitter for the same reason that I love hats and hair and big coats. It gives me the confidence that naked me lacks.

I love Twitter because you can help people in need with small favours that mean little to you but a lot to others and vice versa.

I love Twitter because there are no rules. Some people like to make up Twitter rules but they are the same people who would make up rules for sunsets, nebulae and love.

I love Twitter because it reduces loneliness by 8.2% (unverified)

I love Twitter because it enforces the immutable truth that scientists, the unemployed, pop stars, actors, writers, artists, the retired, civil servants, photographers salespeople, blue collar, white collar.. everyone has the same problems and fears, just on different budgets.

I love Twitter because without it how would I know about the complex relationship between a DJ and an airport?

Most of all, I love Twitter because it makes me laugh.

I love to laugh.

My three favourite tweets –

@DrSamuelJohnson At Thank Almighty GOD ‘Tis Friday. An ABOMINATION call’d Coleslaw is before me. I pray for the Stillness of the GRAVE.

@amateuradam: Ronnie Biggs has been admitted to hospital following a stroke. I hope it hasn’t made his great brain rubbery.

The third one is a tweet from @gracedent to @cailtinmoran. I can’t remember what it said but it was about Dr Who and it was very funny.”

@MrNickHarvey

“My five month old baby hasn’t done a poo in over a week. I’m shitting myself even if he isn’t. Twitter’s offered me plenty of suggestions over the past couple of days, from giving him prune juice to gently tickling his anus with a cotton bud, but to be honest, I’m too damn scared to try any of them. I know it has to come eventually (stare for long enough and you can actually see his stomach expand) but there’s no way I want to be near him when it does.”

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Written by Chris Floyd

October 19, 2011 at 7:17 am

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